This Time of Year

41bdaf6456045ebea9c38dc04e389adcThis time of year can always get one down a little. Without family and friends around you, you can find yourself isolated, watching others sharing cheer, hugging, kissing. Particularly while shopping. (Can you tell I just got back from final shopping?) On more than one Christmas I’ve found myself in the shopping mall, up on the second floor looking down at the families joyfully waiting for Santa, and cried quietly. (Don’t feel too sad for me, though; I can cry at a phone commercial. Truth.)

A couple of decades ago, when I was someone else totally, dead name and all, I was married to a lesbian. (Long story. We were both in the AF band, close friends, and questions were being asked about us individually. We thought getting married would take pressure off. It did.) Anyway, we had a wonderful time. Our families were relieved. For us, we had fairly constant companionship. We  genuinely liked each other. We traveled, we did things together. That lasted several years until she met her true companion (a pianist… wouldn’t you know it! Replaced by a keyboardist. Disgusting.)

Sometime I miss that. I’m alone all the time now except for a local group of ladies who have sort of adopted me. We eat out about once a week, more during holidays. Not the same.

I guess what I’m saying is, work on those relationships, familial or non-familial. Anything where you can have some sort of human contact. It can get lonely out here.Extreme loneliness leads to depression. You know where depression can lead. The incidence of suicide in our community is high.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, that you have many friends and family surrounding you and supporting you.


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