Sadness

d8b935effa5baed716ba82010e7cf0b4I just got a call from my niece. My brother is in a coma. He fell, hit his head, and was taken to the emergency room. Due to his age and health problems, the doctor recommended he not even be operated on. But at the niece’s insistence, they did. Now it’s just a waiting game. Should he pass I’ll go to his funeral.

The issue is this. It didn’t go well when I transitioned. To put it mildly. As a point of fact, I haven’t had communication with any relatives of mine since. I’m cool with that. Everyone has to live with their decisions on either side of the issue. They made theirs… I made mine.

But in this case, they contacted me about him (and yes, they called me ‘uncle’ the whole conversation, even after I corrected them to ‘aunt’.). They wanted me to talk to God for them (they’re agnostics). “We want all our bases covered.” Fair enough. I will. I’ll have my priest do a special mass for him during weekday mass.

The issue for me is this… when I go to the funeral — if he indeed passes — do I go as me or as the me they remember? They have never seen me since the beginning. I’m about fifty pounds lighter and a whole lot shapelier. More hair, too, thanks to the magic of wigs. The funeral won’t be about me, but about honoring the deceased. While I’d love to put on a black dress and veil, I’m thinking about dragging out an old, ill-fitting suit and going butch. Too bad. I look better in black.

Just sharing.

2 thoughts on “Sadness

  1. Hopefully things will work out. However, take the ill fitting suit and your me clothes. If things go well at that point you can decide. It’s tough knowing they don’t know you. I’m sorry to hear of the health issues at hand. Be strong girl. It’s going to be OK.

    Liked by 1 person

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