Ashes to Ashes

d0d49105400d568744eb933dcaf2084bThis post refers to an earlier one, R.I.P.. I was contacted tonight concerning my brother. He will be cremated, which I knew. As I mentioned before, I was not invited to attend his funeral service. That said, they called to tell me about the cremation and said they would send me some ashes.

As any good Catholic girl would know, Catholics don’t allow ashes to be kept. You can’t put an urn on your mantle to keep your dearly beloved in sight. No, they have to be properly interred either in the ground or a memorial park.

That said, my new lovely lady — let’s refer to her from now on as “V” — a Filipina Catholic woman, showed some righteous anger on my behalf. This was the first she heard about me being asked not to come to my brother’s funeral. Appalled is a good description. I kinda like that. She is showing me a lot of, well, I would call it masculine qualities. I tend to be quite the pushover. She much more of an in your face alpha type. I could use that in my life, that’s for sure. She may be a keeper.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out what to tell my ‘family’ about the ashes. Or should I just take them and bury them myself? What an odd problem.

6 thoughts on “Ashes to Ashes

  1. I cant understand why people can be so cruel. However, I would like to hope beyond hope that them sending you some ashes is an olive branch to allow you some space and opportunity to say goodbye to him (since I believe splitting up the ashes is also against the Catholic tradition, but I could be wrong there).
    There are so many beautiful ways to pay tribute and say goodbye with his ashes. One of my favorites is to plant the ashes, mixing it with the soil of a new tree. The ashes give the soil and the tree nutrients to grow and as it grows over the years it gives a sort of memory and memorial space. To sit under that tree for a picnic in the yard, or simply have a glass of wine when the days get long, feels almost like your loved one is there. However, I do not know how close your relationship was with him, or how you feel spiritually so I dont want to impose or suggest something that you would find uncomfortable.


  2. You’re very welcome. I’ve told my loved ones that is what I want done with my ashes one day, divided up and planted to fertilize new growth and give back to the earth.

    Liked by 1 person

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