Transition Update – Atlanta Trip

downloadYesterday was my every-fourth-month appointment with my doctor. Eight hours round trip not counting time spent in Atlanta. I’m nothing if not determined and dedicated! But…

I’ve been expressing discouragement to my SL family. A year and nine months into my transition and except for little boobies (which i really enjoy, by the way!)  there is no outward change. I know I’m not going to become Sophia Loren (83 yo)… hell, i’d be satisfied with any more feminine than Ernest Borgnine in drag! But nothing going on.

I expressed this two ways yesterday. One, i wore boy clothes there. Jeans, button up shirt and boat shoes. This is the first time my doctor has seen me this way. And two, I flat out told him that i was coming to the conclusion and adjusting to the fact there would be no changes. That i had waited too long to begin this. Decades too long.

He took a look at my lab results and there was a disturbing reading. My testosterone is pretty much eliminated. I don’t think i ever had much to begin with. But my estrogen level was at 38. Last visit was over 100. No new medication being taken, nothing that should effect my E level. So he had me take another blood test on the way out to doublecheck. Then he said if it came out the same he would up my estradiol pills to 8 mg a day, up from 6 mg, OR put me on patches or give shots. I assume the patches or shots will put more into my body. Double up that shit!

Regardless. My transition is not going well, my friends. I look at transition pictures on Reddit and follow many transgender women on Tumblr and i just want to hang myself! (metaphorically speaking, y’all) They are fantastic. I’ve seen bearded musclebound men turn into an attractive woman quickly. And i think to myself ‘what the fuck?’ Sigh

I”m whining. I know. I’m usually more up. I’ve told my family that i started this transition late in life because i didn’t want to die as an old man. I’m afraid..

Eh. Just post-visit depression, i guess. This is my promised update on my transition.

On a happier note, I’ve finished my first book in a year and a half! My writing has been trans erotic romances or futa erotic romances (59 ‘books’ on Amazon). I have written my first lesbian erotic romances. Had to decide whether to use a pen name on this. Not sure of a fan picking up this book based on my name (yes, i actually have fans that snag my books before they get advertised) would be disturbed by the genre change. I write as Isabella Belucci. Was considering… thanks Trixssy for such a delightful suggestion. Not sure “Monica Mufflebum” will fit the cover pic. LOL.

Till my next post, my darlings… hugs and kisses

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