I learned over the 2015 holiday season that book sales reeked. Badly. I was very discouraged at that time. I was following what was a weekly publishing of a new book. So in self-defense this year I took a two-month sabbabical. Nothing new came out in November and December. The result?: I have been astonished at how much people continued buying or reading my old books. This has proven to me the value of having a decent catalog. Every doggone one of my 58 books have been either bought or read at least once. Not only has this done a lot for my self-esteem but hasn’t hurt my pocketbook any either. Kudos to Reed James, a prolific author FB friend of mine who currently has a catalog of — can this be right? — 881. Wow. Anyway back when I started and was complaining about meager sales he told me to write, publish, and grow as big a catalog as possible as quickly as possible. Like all other advice he’s given me it has proven valuable.
That said, time to swing back to work. A 4-book series that sold more than once during this time was Her Hot Futa Wife. Hot wives must be appealing to lots of folks LOL. Naturally, then, I am working on a new series on futa hot wives. Look forward to my usual nasty, sexy over-the-top erotica to come out next week.
December 14 marked the one year mark of my HRT. Before that I was working hormone-free, just soaking in the testosterone poisoning and being a girl. Found a doctor to prescribe my medication then he dies in an accident. Found a replacement and am very happy that I’ve begun my journey.
What I’m not happy about is my progress. I have a simple wish… to be able to walk down a street without seeing people elbowing their companions and pointing at me. How small a fucking town do I have to live in before I’m comfortable? I’d move to a cabin in the woods but I’m afraid my heels would dig into the dirt paths LOL.
I went shopping yesterday. Needed some retail therapy to get out of a funk. I bought some very nice stuff. Then I remembered when I was trapped with other townsfolk due to hurricane evacuation I had no male-type clothes to wear… I went en fem, sort of. Sloppy but me. So yesterday I actually bought jeans and a few shirts. Just in case. I can’t tell you how depressed it made me to think I may have to go back to them. I held them up and looked at them, tears in my eyes. I would hate it.
I’m giving myself two more years. My doctor said I’d reach full effect after three years. Fingers crossed. No matter how I’m dressed… how ugly I am… how unlike the many transition photos I see on Reddit that I’ll never be able to attain… I am a woman. <sigh>
Sorry. Holiday depression starting to set in. Happens every year around this time when I go out and see all the excited families shopping, laughing, enjoying the season. Will I ever get over this annual funkfest? Heehee <sigh> No
My only high point has been my discovery of Second Life where I’ve been able to start a life, find a love, and now even plan a wedding. Thank you Kelly Cross for coming into my life. Hope my downer of a post doesn’t scare you haha. I’ll be fine as soon as I see you log on.
My General Practitioner just called me. To remind my readers, after the doctor who treated me for my transition died in a car accident I was in search for a replacement before my prescriptions ran out. The obvious choice was my GP since it was a matter of picking up the script. He refused saying he had no training in the field and it was more complicated than just reissuing prescriptions.
I found the specialist in Atlanta, a five-hour drive. Well worth the effort. Meanwhile just last month I had my semi-annual check-up with the GP. After his exam he asked how the “Atlanta treatment” was going. I told him everything and we discussed the tests and results just so he’d be aware. After all, he had to drop one of my medications because it conflicted with the HRT. No judgment, just good doctor care.
So maybe ten minutes ago he calls. In an oblique manner he asked “do you recall the question you asked at the end of last year?” That could only mean one thing so I said yes. “I have a patient who came to me with the same request. Would you be willing to give me the name of the doctor you see in Atlanta?” So by the time I stopped squealing I said sure, just let me look it up.
THERE IS A TRANSGENDER SOMEWHERE IN MY TOWN! Besides me, that is. I wonder if I’ll run into him/her (the doctor didn’t say whether it MTF or FTM… wouldn’t make a difference).
Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to have coffee with? Share a noontime sandwich? Just talk mutual concerns. <sigh>
If you’ve read my older posts you know I left the Catholic church I had attended for more than a decade because of the asinine transphobic homilies of my priest. What I did was to go down the road a couple of towns to try theirs. Since I was a lector in the diocese I could lector in the new church. This Sunday’s First Reading was done by yours truly. And I almost wet my panties!
So many assholes try to use scripture to deny we trans folk our basic humanity, really. We’re all such evil sinful creatures trying to suck the manhood out of society. Right. So here I was, standing in the ambo looking at all those fine, religious people waiting for me to begin. And I read this from the Book of Wisdom (yes, yes, Protestants, I understand you don’t accept that book as part of the scriptures. Check your history. The Catholic list of books is the complete one. It was Martin Luther who decided he didn’t like certain teachings and removed them when he revised your bible. This counts.)
Yes, you love all that exists, you hold nothing of what you have made in abhorence, for had you hated anything, you would not have formed it. And how, had you not willed it, could a thing persist, how be conserved if not called forth by you? You spare all things because all things are yours, Lord, lover of life, you whose imperishable spirit is in all.
It is as I’ve said before to haters… God made me and He knew what He was doing. I’m no surprise to him. Along with an argument predicated on a New Testament portion in Acts.
I so wanted to jump up and down and squeeeeee… but I refrained. In the parking lot I was high fiving myself, though LOL.
My wonderful lover Kelly has made me pregnant. And she refuses to acknowledge it. I feel so violated <sob>
Actually, it’s costume night at Kelly’s Closet dance club tonight. Considering my battles with the Catholic Church I thought I’d take the opportunity to tweak their noses a little.
The oncoming autumn is always a wonderful time in my eyes. The leaves changing, the air cooling. Not so much in the South but still to a lesser degree. In Second Life it was a beautiful afternoon to sit on the beach with my honey and talk serious relationship matters. It is comfortable to have someone to listen to your concerns. And to listen theirs.
That’s all. No great thoughts today. Just content with my life… happy for the first time in quite a while.