ghost-girl-in-mirrorSpecifically,  Second Life alternative accounts. Once you have your main account, avatar, life going on in second life, some people will start a second account. I read on Facebook a poster upset over her partner who apparently created not only an alt, but an alternative life. Good reason to want to kick him in the Aeros!

I am infamous. I have had 7 alts, now defunct… retired… one dead.  I had a reason for these accounts, so i would like to defend the use of an alt.

My first alt came about because of my lifestyle. I was a sub, collared. My mistress had an app on my collar called Spy. Spy would collect every teleport i made and my side of any conversation. I discovered the next day she was dropping in on each teleport to see what i was doing and chatting with whoever was around asking about me. I may have been submissive but i still felt that an intrusion. I wasn’t doing anything i should be ashamed of. Not unfaithful. Just different music venues.

So i created an alt to feel free to get around. That one went off the rails and i caused pain to too many people. I learned my lesson with alts. As the FB poster noted, she was greatly pained by what her ex-partner had done. His was purposeful, and he was a bastard. Mine was accidental. But pain caused nonetheless. I apologized to those I interacted improperly with.

But after that! Oy. I am a writer as my profile will tell you. What a great way to gather material and try out circumstances. Thus, my next alt was created at first to meditate, contemplation on a historical Japanese sim. Great way to start the day. But i got a great idea… what is it like to sell yourself? A little Firestorm search and i found myself, kimono and all, on the auction board at PoD auction house. For a three-week period I sat on a cushion twice a day being interviewed. I have many pages of notes about the emotions involved. Nervous, am i doing it right, should i dress sexy like that barbie kneeling on the next cushion, do i have any worth… so many things filled my mind. (By the way, i didn’t go for much — L$1,500)

Then came a cute little fawn, a half-goat girl. What better way to experience discrimination. You’d think in a world where you can literally be anything you want everyone would be cool with it. Nope. I was a fawn for a month and made not one… NOT ONE… friend. So i kicked it up a notch… an African-American woman. I’m sad to say i still believe there is discrimination in SL. I may be wrong. But after a short life I gave up both of them.

And that’s how it went, my friends. A purpose-driven alt (1) because it is fun and a challange to built something (find the avatar look you like, find a style of clothing that fits, etc.), and (2) to achieve a set goal. Once that goal is reached, i simply quit logging on. They’re laying there, all lined up, hoping someday to be reawakened. “Do Electric Sheep Dream of Androids?”

So I’m sorry to that original poster for the pain her asshole of an ex-partner caused. Some folks totally forget that behind every avatar is a living, feeling human being. Emotions are SO strong in Second Life. We live in our minds which seem to magnify feelings. Be careful using alts.


NEXT POST: an update on my transition.

Second Life Family

1262194872_katrina-kaif-2I joined Second Life because i live an isolated, lonely life. On purpose. It’s a safety thing for me. My own family had deserted me. My very first acts on landing in this strange new world was (1) look up my friends Daniel and Tish Wolfsong’s bar (they are now my SL brother and sister); get from them suggestions for transgender sims; and start searching for anything transgender related. A little narrow-casting in my wants at this point, huh. Which led me to a now-defunct sim TransTastic where, for the first time, I met others like me. Same issues. Same problems. But others to talk about it and share my life. At last! Someone who also had dysphoria. It was wonderful.

As often happens in Second Life, that sim folded. But before it did, i had discovered a new life that would serve me well… D/s — dominant/submissive — BDSM. Dancing at TransTastic i met an attractive girl who talked with me. That alone was an exhilarating experience for me haha. Then she revealed she was a sub with a mistress i had yet to meet. We danced over a period of days while i thoroughly researched the subject and found myself interested. She invited me to their home to meet the domme. Two days later i was submitted, collared and learning the myriad mistakes one can make LOL. Yikes.

A family. A domme and two subs… but in my mind, a mother and two sisters.

And that’s how it’s been ever since. I see this lifestyle i’ve chosen as being a mother with a growing family. That’s wrong, as i’ll mention later, but for the longest time that is what i felt.  Over time I gather others to me. I provided them love, a place to live, safety, caring, encouragement.

I have learned, thanks to my mentor Chloe, that i am not a mother. I am their domme. Big difference which i won’t go into here. I have become stronger from her guidance, and from the encouragement of the girls themselves, particularly my SL wife Trixssy.  The Hand of the Queen! They want me strong and decisive. I am.

Today i pruned from my family tree. An errant daughter (continuing the metaphor) who failed to show up for weeks at a time. Patience growing to impatience, excuses lacking, time to cut the duckling loose to learn to fly on her own.

We’re still a family. We talk, we encourage, we occasionally fight LOL, but in the end, we’re the Bella family. Proud and united.

I have a family.

At last.

It’s Been Far Too Long

1351841774_largeI started this blog a long time ago with the purpose of sharing my trials and tribulations on transitioning male to female. It began with the search for a new doctor. I then migrated to discussing the process of writing Amazon ‘books’. Fifty-nine books later I discovered Second Life. Haha. I haven’t written a single book since.

In Second Life (“SL”) My life became enmeshed with developing a life i can never have in real life. Real life I am a quiet, shy, often frightened old trans woman hoping to go unnoticed through the remainder of my life. Alone, isolated, left with my imagination, a chiweenie named Rachel, and a few computers.

But in second life I am a hot, sexy (t least I think so) Japanese domme with a family of submissives living in my Tudor manor. My life is shopping, dancing, exploring and living a BDSM lifestyle with all that entails.

Guess which i prefer.

So from now on, this blog will reflect new aspects of my life. Still with my transitioning which, actually, only has a year and half to go before reaching my maximum effect; but now with Second Life experiences/thoughts/feelings; and also the occasional writing of erotic romances. I have purposely built alts (alternative SL accounts) to have targeted experiences which i will incorporate into fiction.

I hope you stick with me, my dear readers. Life is an evolution. Come with me. I’ll try to entertain you.